So, I spent most of today feeling guilty. A fellow teacher said that's the job of a mom, but I can't believe that's God's plan for my life. My husband is home all day with Rowan, and when I come home if I don't have him attached at my hip the entire evening I feel like I might miss something.
Tonight I was making stuffed shells and decided to put him in the Mayan sling. So he was literally stuck to my hip. I swiffered, and pushed the sweeper around (which he loves) and looked down to find him asleep. In my quest to want him by my side after a day away, all he wanted was the warmth of my body to ease him off to sleep.
I sat down, put my head next to his mouth to smell his apple breath and sighed.
I am so blessed. I might not have the whole day, but even 5 hours is enough for him to be secure in the fact that he has my heart.
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I have to tell myself at least once a day not to make choices on what to do with my son based on guilt. I feel guilty if he's cried too much and I didn't hear him because I was sleeping. I feel guilty for all sorts of reasons but I tell myself, "Don't make a decision based on guilt. Make it based on what is best for him ultimately." It helps. And thanks for your comment at my blog. We do have a bit in common, huh? :)
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